The talk
by RobinQ
Summary: "Hermione, Harry couldn't live without you. He'd rather die without you by his side". Ginny have a heart-to-heart talk with Hermione about the Boy-who-win. Eventually H/Hr


"Why didn't you and Harry ever kiss?"

Hermione looked up sharply. Her eyes met with Ginny's, surprise met with curiosity.

Hermione sighed, "Ginny, how many times I've told you that Harry and I are only best friends. Nothing more. He only thinks of me like his sister. An annoying, nagging sister more likely"

They were in Ginny's room at the Burrow. Or more like her _and_ Ginny's room, as another bed had been permanently placed in the room for her use whenever she stayed over.

It was already near midnight, and tomorrow will be her flight to Perth, Australia to find her parents. Just after dinner, the Weasleys had thrown a small going-away party for her, as no one will be sure how long it will take for her to find her parents. It seemed that her plan to hide them was working a bit _too_ well. She wasn't sure her parents would even be in Perth. But there was another surprise, for her at least: Harry was going with her as well.

She was already packed, her belongings placed inside boxes and shrunk before arranged into her backpack. How she loved magic. She only hoped she won't have problems with customs with that. At least she wasn't using her bottomless bead bag. Now why would a witch wanted to go to another country using the muggle way anyway? She wanted to go incognito. She had hoped to avoid reporters, or worse, the still at large Death Eaters who wanted revenge for their fallen leader. Besides, or actually, the real reason might be was that she missed flying with the airplane, as cumbersome as the process might be.

"Hermione, don't you find that strange? How does Harry know?"

"Hm? What do you mean?" She was sitting on her bed, triple-checking her list of items to bring.

"Harry is an only child. Like you. How does an only child really knows about sibling's love?"

Hermione stared at her female best friend, the little sister she never had.

"What do you mean Ginny? Harry's in love with you, you know that. Everyone can see that." She finally put away the list, her back resting against the wall, feet against her chest.

"And Ginny, I told you, I really didn't know Harry was going; he booked his ticket and everything behind my back! He should be in Slytherin!"

"I know," Ginny said. "Actually you're the only one who didn't know about that. He wanted it to be a surprise for you. Look, Hermione, I'm not angry Harry's going with you. I think it would be good for him. He's still trying to cope with so many deaths... Remus, Tonks, Dobby, Fr-Fred," her voice faltered. "So many others... And those reporters aren't making it easier for him either." Ginny sat down beside Hermione on the bed, hugging a pillow to her chest.

"Yeah, I know. The Boy-who-win! The Vanquisher of the Dark Lord! I don't know what else! As if Harry needed all those titles. They only reminded him of the war!" Hermione huffed.

"Ginny, you know Harry was still having nightmares every night... He kept seeing Voldemort's eyes, hearing his taunts. He kept reliving the Final Battle, thinking he was going to die, and then waking up seeing everyone already dead. But the Malfoy Manor nightmare was worse. He woke up screaming every time."

Ginny hugged her pillow tighter. "That's what I was talking about, Hermione. I know he couldn't sleep. I know he's having nightmares. But he won't say what they're all about. He won't open up to me. He only spoke about them with you," her voice broke.

"Oh, Ginny," Hermione rubbed her best friend's arm. "You know how Harry is. It's not that easy for him to talk about these things... I was there, remember?"

There was silence, broken up by Ginny sobbing.

"S-sorry, I wasn't going to cry...," she wiped her tears. "But Hermione, can't you see? You're the one he talks to. The one who comforts him in the middle of the night, when he had a nightmare..."

"That's because I was living with him, at the Grimmauld place. I can't let him locked himself like that, not when he's still grieving, you know that. And the Burrow reminded him too much..." Hermione swallowed thickly, her voice suddenly refused to come out.

The girls went silent, each to their own thoughts. The war had taken too much from them; loss of family, loss of innocence, loss of their youth and dreams, changing them forever.

"Well this isn't what I was planning to say," Ginny's voice broke the silence, her voice suspiciously bright.

"You still didn't answer my question, Hermione. Why didn't you and Harry ever kiss? I know if I'm best friends with two handsome guys (and don't tell Ron I said this), I'd at least have a kiss with each of them!"

Hermione laughed. Ginny was very persistent. And she was good at bringing laughter back to her. Hermione couldn't help feeling she was going to miss her.

"Come on, Hermione. Don't tell me you never had a feeling for Harry..."

"What's this? Tell the truth night? Without Firewhisky?"

"What, you want to get drunk on the night before your flight? Bad, bad Hermione. No, come on, Hermione. I told you all about my secrets before," she pleaded.

"Hmph. Okay, you asked for it. I did kiss Harry. Once. On the cheek."

"That's NOT kissing!"

"Shh! Do you want others to wake up!"

"So you did have feelings for Harry."

Hermione looked at her best friend's face, trying to read her expression. "That was like, a long time ago. End of fourth year? But he never had any feeling for me. So really, it doesn't matter."

"Is that why you go for Ron then?"

"Hmm? No, it wasn't like that. Look, there isn't anything between me and Harry now, so you don't have to worry, okay? I told you before..."

"Yeah, yeah, you and Harry are best friends, nothing more," Ginny interrupted, waving her hands. "Look, I just wanted to know, since when?"

"You're not going to drop this, are you?"

"Nope. Spill."

"Well, I think maybe first year. He saved me from that troll, you know. I thought I was going to die. Suddenly he was standing there, like a knight," she chuckled. "Ah, he was my first crush", she reminisced.

"He did have saving people thing, right? He was like a knight to me too, standing there with the bloody sword, defeating the basilisk," Ginny sighed, the image of Harry saving her from Tom Riddle's spirit and the basilisk was still vivid in her mind.

"We both owed Harry our life, it seemed."

"We and the rest of the wizarding world," Ginny grinned. "So why did you gave up the knight then?"

"Come on, Ginny."

"Oh, come _on_, Hermione."

"Humph. You of all people should know what kind of girl Harry likes. Cho? Padma?" At the look Ginny gave her, she backtracked. "Okay, maybe he just took Padma to the ball. But you can't deny that you, Cho, and Padma are among the prettiest girl in Hogwarts!"

"Why, thank you for the compliments Hermione. But I am insulted. Pretty? Just pretty?" Ginny smacked her arm.

"Okay, okay. You and Cho are both Quidditch players. Athletic, really talented and pretty. Both have a figure to die for. Satisfied?"

Ginny grinned. "That's so much better. So, you're saying that it was all physical attraction then?"

Hermione shook her head, sighing, "No, of course not. Ginny, why are you asking me this? Harry clearly loves you. He came back for you, remember? You meant everything to him. You make him happy; you make him feel like he's a normal guy, one without the weight of the world on his shoulder."

Ginny went silent. But she kept wringing her hands. "You're avoiding the real issue here. So why did you choose Ron then? I know my brother; he can be an annoying git sometimes. Okay, most of the time."

"He can be funny too, you know. He makes me laugh."

"Oh, ever the loyal girlfriend. He makes you laugh; then he makes you cry ten times more. Honestly Hermione..."

"He's your brother, Ginny." Hermione was getting irritated. What was Ginny trying to say?

"Hermione, I'm going to be honest with you, okay? Just let me finish. Oh, this is so hard," she took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm not going to cry. Okay. Look, I hate this. I hate this feeling that I'm second to someone else. That there's someone else more important than me in Harry's heart."

"Gin," Hermione said, "I'm just..."

"Please, just let me finish. You said you're only his best friend. His sister. But I am a girl, Hermione. I get so jealous sometimes. Why did he choose you, not me? He broke up with me. Yes, he said so that I will be safe. He left me but then he took you for the Horcrux hunt. I was worried there was something between you two. But then Ron was there, so I was perhaps worried about nothing. Then, I found out that he left! You choose to stay with Harry, not with Ron."

"Ginny, I couldn't just leave Harry! He..."

"Please, Hermione. Just listen. Okay. I know Harry is important to you. You'd do anything for him. You choose to fight with him. Hell, you even lose your family for him! And you were tortured, Hermione. Tortured."

"And it wasn't your fight. Not really. You can choose to leave Britain, and go with your family. You will be safer there. But you didn't. Why? You're number two on the hit list, Hermione!"

"Voldemort will find me anyway, you know he will!"

"But that wasn't the real reason, was it? You can't leave Harry. It was because Harry needs you. You're the brain of the Trio. Without you, they're lost. Without you, _Harry_ would be lost."

Hermione was silent. "What are you saying Ginny?"

"You know, Harry couldn't live without you. He'd rather die without you by his side. You told me he had nightmares about the Malfoy Manor, remember? It was because you were tortured there! He thought he lost you! He told you the nightmares about Sirius, about Department of Mysteries, right? Did he tell you about the nightmares he had when you were cut with Dolohov's curse? He thought you died!"

"I can't compete with all that, Hermione," Ginny was weeping now.

"He said he loves you like a sister. But I don't really know. I don't think he really understand either. Would I really sacrifice myself for Fred? Hell, I would. Would I do everything to bring back Fred? Of course I would. I would do everything I can to bring him back. But can I really live without Fred? It's hard. But I can still go on without him, he'd kill me if I don't," Ginny wiped her tears.

"But can I live without Harry if he died? I don't know, I really don't. Maybe I could, maybe I couldn't live without him. But _can_ you, Hermione?"

Hermione was in tears now. "I couldn't live without him if he died, Ginny. You know that."

"I know."

"But I will kill those who killed him first. And I will chase Voldemort and kill him too."

Ginny chuckled. "Yes, I know you would. You wouldn't rest until you do."

They were both silent now. Hermione tried to surreptitiously wipe her tears.

"He really loves you Hermione. He listened to you. You're the one who pull him out of his funk before. You put up with his mood swings. He shared his secrets with you. He told you about his nightmares. He shared his problems with you. He depended on you. He needed you," Ginny said, her voice low.

"And it was so hard for me, you know. I wanted to be with someone who needed me like that. I wanted someone who can depend on me. I wanted to feel important. I wanted to be the first one he told something, not after his best friends. The one he trusted his secrets with. The one he shared his fears with. I am selfish, and I know that. But I can't share my feelings like that."

"Is there someone like that for me? I don't know. But I'm still young. And pretty. But Harry couldn't be the one for me. Because I know, I will always be second to you. He will always go to you first, and that make me insecure. Jealous, bitter. I don't want to turn into someone like that. I wanted to love fully, to be loved, without doubt."

"Ginny, I'm sorry. I really didn't know what to say..." her voice trailed off.

"It's okay, Hermione. I just wanted you to understand," Ginny sighed. "It's complicated, I know. I love him, I still do. But I don't want to regret this, and I don't want you to regret anything either."

"Wow, that was quite some talk huh?" they both chuckled.

"Ginny, did you ever talk to Harry about this?" Hermione grasped her best friend's hands.

"I tried, Hermione. Maybe it was too soon. But I couldn't make him understand. He said both of us are important to him. The usual, you're like his sister, his best friend etc. But then, when you said you're leaving to search for your parents, he dropped all of his plans and decided to go with you. Without second thoughts! That is when I know, I'll always been second to you. I couldn't accept that."

Hermione whispered, so softly that Ginny strained to hear it, "but he will always think of me like his sister."

"So I take it you still have some feeling for him then?"

"No, I mean, maybe, I don't know, Gin! I love Ron, you know that!"

"What a mess we are. I know you love Ron," Ginny looked up to the ceiling. "You know, Tonks talked to me before. When you all left for the hunt," Ginny added to Hermione questioning look.

"I asked her how she knows Remus is the one for her. Everyone said it will be difficult for them, Remus is a werewolf, he's not rich and he's too old for her... But you know what Tonks said? She said she imagine what her life would be years after now. The face she wanted to see when she woke up in the morning. The one she kissed goodnight. The one who hold her child to sleep," both of them were now crying.

"And she said she saw Remus in her future. She will grow old with him. She makes breakfast for him, him a cup of chocolate, her a cup of coffee..." Ginny choked, she couldn't continue anymore.

"Hermione, who will be the one in your future? Could you imagine Ron? Or would you imagine Harry?"

Hermione went silent for a long time.

"Who is the one in your dream, Ginny?"

"No one. I told you I'm too young. There will be tons of men that I will meet in the future. And believe me, I won't get married for at least another ten years, Hermione!" Ginny laughed.

Hermione's heart clenched. She knew Ginny was lying, but she didn't want to push her further. Ginny deserved that at least.

"What about Ron? I don't want to hurt him..."

"He will be furious, of course. He will be hurt, he will say you betray him, perhaps sever your friendship."

Hermione cringed.

"Oh, don't worry too much. Give Ron time, he'd come around. Be selfish for once, Hermione. Who knows, perhaps he'll surprise you. You know, one of the Golden Trio, one of the most eligible bachelors according to Teen Witch Weekly should be able to snag a witch, don't you think?"

"Just don't over think about this Hermione. Don't lose Harry; he's too precious. For both of us." Ginny's voice broke. She then laid down on the bed, her pillow covering her face, trying and failing to suppress her rising sobs.

A/N: I wrote this after reading a short work entitled "One half of a Happy Ending" by Secoluna. Go read it. I feel so sad for all of them in the story. I couldn't bear being in Ginny and Ron's place. Especially Ginny. So that's how this story comes to place. I think Ginny might be a bit OOC though. (and I couldn't write it from Ron's POV to save my life). I had some ideas to continue, but when I wrote it, the story seemed weird so this is where I stopped. The ending? Make of it what you will.


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